Safe In the Arms of Jesus!

Noah's Ache Today

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months
I am going to make it rain until the whole world is
covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.

But, I want to save the few good people and two of every
living thing on the planet, so  I want you to build an ark."

And in a flash of lightning,
God delivered the specifications for the ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and
fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain,"
said the Lord.

Six months passed, the sky began to
cloud up, and the rain began to fall.

The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting
in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah, where is My ark?" called the Lord.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah.
"I did my best, but there were some big problems.

First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's
construction, but your plans did not meet their code.

So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans,
only to get into a long argument with him about
whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating
zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard,
so I had to get variance from the city planning board."

"Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark,
because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish
and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls,
but they wouldn't let me catch them anyway, so no owls."

"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got
sued by an animal rights group that objected
to me taking along only two of each kind."

"Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified
me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an
environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.

They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no
jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map
of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!"

"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint
with the Equal Opportunities Commission over
how many minorities I'm supposed to hire."

"The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am
trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice
from the state that I owe some kind of use tax.

Really, I don't think I can finish
the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to
shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up and smiled.  "You mean you're not
going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord,
"the government's already done that."


It seems man's depravity knows no limits.  It's true that
for over 100 years folks have been asking, "How much worse
can it get?"  Sadly, the answer now, as it was then, is "MUCH!"

But take heart!
Even though we are in this world, we are not of it.  We
don't even belong here.  We are citizens of Heaven and one
day soon, our long awaited King will return to take us there!
Thank You, Jesus!

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